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Maryann Guberman has been a writer and editor with many gaming publications, including Sports Form, Card Player, Poker World, Player's Panorama and Systems and Methods. She also has written and edited numerous books on gambling.

June 19, 2004

Educating the Poker Player

"If I wanted to argue with someone, I'd a stayed home with my husband."
-- Sissy C. Vegas poker player

The scene at a Las Vegas poker room, one frequented day after day by the same locals trying to qualify for their freeroll tournament, was fairly typical. The bouncy female player, out for a fun, relaxing night of poker thought nothing of calling one bet before the flop with her 5-6 unsuited.

"It was only $4," she told me. "I thought, 'What the heck; let's see what happens.' And doncha know, the flop came 5-6-A. After that I had to play. I mean, I had two pair."

Her only opponent was a "mean-spirited codger" who raised her every bet, which she just called. "Hey, how do I know he doesn't have two aces in his hand," she continued.

But of course he did not have aces. He was hiding big slick, which, after the flop, didn't improve. He tried to make it look stronger with his betting and in the end, when the board paired the six, he must have thought for certain his two pair would slant the table toward him so the pot could slide into his lap.

Not so, of course. And that's when the education of our female poker player began.

"First he asked me if I knew how lucky I was," she noted. "So I just smiled and nodded." (She has a rather impish smile, by the way.) "Then he proceeded to tell me how I would end up broke if I kept playing little cards like that."

By ignoring him, she thought the lesson would end, but when, a few hands later, she went to the river with an ace-five suited and caught and won when another ace hit the board, her uninvited teacher slung his losers into the muck, muttered something under his breath and stared at her.

"Pretty soon he was trying to tell me how to play poker and asking me who taught me to play and basically arguing with me. I know how to play poker. I may not play well, but I play. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don't but let me tell you something, I do what I like."

Our petite player wasn't angry, just frustrated. She'd come to the casino to buy a night of entertainment and being reprimanded wasn't part of what she paid for. But, as so often happens, players who need to win‹for-whatever reason have a tendency to criticize the play of their opponents, especially when it's "their" pot.

If you think about it, you probably realize that there are much better ways to deal with the frustration of going head-to-head with amateur play -‹ ways that can, in the end, turn into a profit and keep the novice coming back for more.

One of the best ways to diffuse the anger and frustration of losing -‹ no matter how or to whom the loss occurred -‹ is to breathe. That's right, breathe. You might be surprised to notice how tense your shoulders are and how shallow you've been breathing all along. Taking in a deep breath and slowly exhaling allows you to relax and accept the fact that the players who gamble might win a few pots with bad hands are also the players who are going to lose more pots. And unless you're running through a bad streak, you're going to get your share of them.

Another good method for letting go of the anger is to compliment rather than chastise. You don't have to praise the hand but you can applaud the win with a statement such as, "You won a nice pot there." That's far more soothing (on yourself) than you might think, and it's your own peace of mind you should be considering. Plus, you're not lying! You're just avoiding a negative statement that can ruin your game.

You can also dazzle your opponent with a left-handed compliment. You could say something like this: "You know, I could never win with small connectors like 5-6. I know the books say you can play them in certain situations but it never worked for me."

Now what you've done is put the idea into your opponent's head that maybe it's not such a good idea to play certain cards or maybe there's a "rule" she should be following. When you create second-guessing you also create weakness.

You could also try this kind of line: "You're just too good for me. I know I have to have the best hand possible to beat you." Don't say it sarcastically. Say it with heart because it's true. You can, as the cliché goes, catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,

In the end if you can just remember that the most important person to educate is yourself you won't have to worry about educating others.